Mom took this picture. We were in front of the pyramids in Giza on our second to last day in Egypt and had the option of going on a camel ride. I jumped at the chance, of course, and pretty much jumped on top of the camel a few seconds later. The camel had just risen up when this picture was taken. I was ridiculously excited and looked back grinning at mom who happened to snap this picture at the exact moment. It’s my favorite picture now. Well done, mom!

And now since the football season is over *sniffles* and we’re on a forced break until October I’ve got oodles and poodles of time. I have so much time I don’t know what to do with myself. Our training sessions this summer were usually around 19:00 at night so my body got used to reserving energy during the day until that time… these days when the 19th hour rolls around I’m jumping at the bits, tapping my legs, jumping up and down… literally bursting with energy and no outlet (running notwithstanding).

So now I find myself going over all the old to-do lists I had accumulated and checking off items every night. Last week I made a massive collage of images I had lying around the house and put it up on my living room wall, and now this. Safe to say, my image-related conscience is guilt-free, bitches!

Way, way, way (and I mean way) out of left field I got the MVP award. It was so completely unexpected because I only started playing with the senior team in April this year and I’m, you know, slightly older than most of the team. While I’m still young “life-span” wise, 30 is kinda old in women’s football. There are two players that are older than me (they’re totally my idols now :p), but there are 20+ players that are younger (4-15 years younger!). Also, I was recruited in April from the “old girls” team (which only practice two times a week) to help increase the numbers during practices, because the senior team only had a stable of maybe 6 players.

In April and May, before the season started, we had a few practice games which, for the majority of the time, I watched from the sidelines. So I had completely envisioned the summer spent on the bench, but at least I’d get to play football 5-6 times a week during practices, and maybe travel with the team, and thus seeing more of Iceland. (It’s quite embarrassing that I haven’t seen much of my own country. The only times I’ve been outside of Reykjavik has been when traveling for football games — I’ve traveled to countries on the other side of the world (Australia, for instance), but until this summer, I hadn’t been to the east coast of Iceland).

Before this summer started I hadn’t played on a full-sized field for 7 years – I had to retire after a rather destructive knee injury (torn ACL, meniscus and severe cartilage damage) and because the doctor said he couldn’t fix the damage I never got my previous team’s support to get back in the game. I had to fix it myself and it took five years before I played any football again. “Run through the pain and stop being a wuss” has become my motto =) and I think because of how sudden and against my will my departure from football was, I always felt like I still had something left in me, so while I really enjoyed playing with the old girls team, I jumped at the chance at playing real football again.

Quite unexpectedly, the coach put me in the starting XI for the first game! Woo freaking hoo! And in my favorite position too, center midfield. We lost that game, however, quite horribly and it was all because of jittery nerves and lack of communication in the first 20 minutes (we were 3-0 down by then). Granted, we are a very young team with new players (me included) which have only been playing together for a very short time, but this team has great potential and lots of talent, and while we lost the game, we came back in the second half and dominated the play. I had the assist that gave us the goal, but we also had about six other great chances but failed to score. We easily could have won the game if our finishing had been better.

And that’s pretty much how the season went. I kept my starting position and played every game like it was my last. Whenever we would play to our potential (and not drop down to mediocrity – which happened sometimes for unknown reasons) we would win. That required mass amounts of blood, sweat and tears – I think I had a split lip about five times this summer. My jersey sleeves were always caked in blood after the games. It was awesome!

When I got home, the knee was stuck to the inside of my sweats and I had to peel the pants off, leaving quite a few epithelia’s (I bet) and some crusty blood that had permeated through to the outside of the pants. And all around the knee there was a pattern of blood, in a radial fashion, and it reminded me so much of the blood splatter analysis “tests” from Dexter! It was kinda gory … but surprisingly, my knee doesn’t hurt as much tonight as it did yesterday. Maybe I’ll even get a few hours of sleep tonight – pretty please with melted Mars bars on top – ’cause I’ve been up now for 39 hours and I’m so shaking-all-over-from-tiredness sleepy.

How do you fix that if you’re all out of drowsy pain relieving medicine?

I iced it for like EVER afterwards. No seriously, the ice-pack was like a warm pack of jelly afterwards. You would think that would take down the heat a notch, but nope. That little patch of skin is happily burning and churning away right now and keeping me from sleeping. I’ve tried putting little ice-cubes on, which feels good just as the ice is melting, but stings like a mofo right after. I’ve also tried ‘after burn’ creams/gels with aloe vera, antiseptic creams for small cuts and burns that include anesthetic but they only soothe the sting for a few minutes. Just enough to get me on the verge of dozing but then I move a little and the pain starts up again and I snap awake. Boo.

Any tips for quick home remedies for future reference? It’s the start of the handball season, I’m sure I’ll be in this situation again soon.

And also, why do ‘sliding-on-the-gym-floor’ burns hurt more than ‘slide-tackling-on-astro-turf’ burns? This burn is barely 4 cm long and 2 cm wide. I’ve had burns from football that covered the back of my leg entirely that hurt less, and only kept me up for a couple of hours. Go figure.

I love summer drama series because each episode is packed to the rim with goodness (True Blood, Weeds anyone?), but the wait between series is god-awfully long. Pooh.

Disclaimer: Guiding Light and its characters are owned by Proctor and Gamble. No copyright infringement intended.

Spoilers: Anything up to and including September 9th, 2009 is fair game.

Author’s note: Takes place after moving day.

Previous parts: Part 1 | Part 2

Fade to black (Epilogue)

by Tinna Karen

We continue our lovemaking as soon as we get back to the bedroom. It’s just as passionate and heated as our first time, but there’s an increased tenderness and underlying trust and acceptance in our connection that was missing earlier. Possibly because of the limits the bathtub presented, but I think it’s because it was our first time and we pretty much just jumped into the deep end and went for it. Now we’re taking the time to really explore and get to know each other’s bodies and tastes and likes and dislikes and it’s breathtaking. It’s closing in on our second hour but I feel so awake and alive, I could go on all night. But I’m worried about Natalia, she needs her rest, so I keep asking if she’s okay. After answering the same question seven times with a “Yes, stop worrying” she pretty much just tells me to shut up and do my job. “I’ll tell you when I need a break,” she adds, placating me and I trust that she will.

She finally calls time-out after the fifth time and practically kicks me out of the bed, demanding food and water. Thankfully there’s still plenty of leftovers from our impromptu dinner party, so I don’t have to stay away for too long, and ten minutes later I’m carrying up a tray with a small plate of reheated chicken casserole and a bowl of fruit along with a couple of bottles of water. I lay the tray down on the bed in front of Natalia where she is lying on her side and I mirror her position on the other side of the bed. I drink my water while I watch her polish off the casserole in eight bites. Good girl. Then we take turns feeding each other from the bowl of fruit.

I’m chewing on a piece of pineapple when a thought pops into my head out of nowhere that makes me laugh.

“What?” she says curiously.

“Nothing, I was just remembering something,” I hold a piece of strawberry in front of her mouth, pulling it back teasingly every time her lips come close. She pouts so I hold it close once more. She opens her lips slowly and I can see the challenge in her eyes. She digs her teeth into the berry in a swift move, the juices bursting in her mouth and over my fingers. I pull my hand back and suck my fingers clean, one at a time.

“Wav waz id?” she asks, her mouth still full of strawberries.

“Wav waz id” I mock her with a smile, leaning over for a kiss. “Mm, you taste delicious. Do you have any idea how difficult it’s been for me all these months not to kiss you when you have yummy food all over your face? It was like torture. Chocolate, ice cream, peanut butter … you were doing it on purpose, weren’t you?”

“Me? Little, sweet, innocent me? I’m not that clever…”

“And now you’re using my words against me? That’s nice,” she’s grinning wickedly now. She’s so busted. “You really wanted me to kiss you, didn’t you?” I ask her.

“Oh yeah, like all the time. I thought, maybe, if I brought your attention to my mouth, you’d kiss me again…but you, missy,” her nose crinkles up in that adorable way that it does and she pokes me in my stomach making me giggle, “are almost impossible to seduce.”

I laugh. That’s ridiculous. “Don’t sell yourself short honey, as you know perfectly well by now I’m a trembling mess whenever you’re near. And especially last spring and summer… I was in like this constant state of arousal. Blake even convinced me to buy a sex toy to help me take care of it.” Did I really just say that? What is it with pillow talk that makes you say pretty much everything that pops into your head?

“Uh okay. Wow. As troubling as it is to know that Blake went shopping with you in a sex shop, I’m glad you didn’t have to suffer. Too much.”

Oh I suffered baby, believe you me. “I didn’t use it. I tossed the box in the trash before I even opened it and went looking for you.” I lean in for another kiss. “I wanted you to take care of it.” I move my mouth down to her neck to feed my addiction and she tilts her head back to give me better access. Her hand holds me in place.

“Was this what prompted our sex talk?”

“Pretty much.”

“Huh, knowing what I know now, I kinda wish you would have just, you know, jumped me on that bench.” Now there’s a thought. Maybe tomorrow. An image flashes before my eyes of her lying on the bench. She’s open and exposed and I’m kneeling in front of her feasting on her juices. We so have to try that! But I stop short when I remember how that day ended. I pull away.

“Yeah, but then Rafe would have seen a lot more than he actually did see.”

“Oh, that’s disturbing.” We both shiver from the thought of it, and it’s definitely not a good shiver. Disturbing is right. “Yeah, let’s not go there,” I suggest.

“Never,” she confirms.

“Ever.”

“Tell me instead what you were remembering before?”

Okay. Segue much? I take a breath to clear my head.

“It’s kinda stupid… but okay. So, about three years ago Emma and I spent Christmas in Florida and honestly, I don’t think I really saw that much of Florida except Disney World, but it was still fun. Emma loved it, so I did too, despite wanting to deck some of the mascots.”

“Oh, I bet. Are you sure you didn’t hit at least one?”

“You know me babe, gentle as a lamb.”

She snorts. Something tells me she doesn’t believe me. But she lets it slide. “I’ve always wanted to go but I could never quite swing it. When this little one is old enough, can we go?”

“Of course sweetie, we have to go… anything for my girls.”

Natalia caresses her stomach softly. “Hear that baby girl, your mommy is going to take us to Disney World when you’re older.”

When she says things like that I tend to lose my train of thought, and I can’t help marveling at the events that have lead me here; to this house, in this bed with her. Happy and domesticated with a very beautiful, very pregnant girlfriend. Seriously, I’ve been married five times… to men. How did this happen? And why didn’t it happen sooner. I have ten years, maybe fifteen if I’m lucky, left of this borrowed ticker and I feel like my life has only just started. It’s so not fair. Modern medicine better catch the fuck up and find a way to keep me around longer because there’s no way I intend on leaving her or my girls any time soon if I can help it.

“Olivia?”

“Huh?”

“You were saying?”

Where was I? Florida, Disney World, clobbering a giant version of Mickey Mouse (but she doesn’t need to know that). “Right okay. So anyway, there was this fortune teller when we were at The Magic Kingdom and Emma pretty much pushed me into the tent. And this lady with long white hair in a ridiculous pink and orange chiffon ensemble told me that I would be taking a ‘young, latin lover’ in the near future.” I grin, this is so silly, why am I telling her this?

“Of course, at the time I assumed it was just the same typical bullshit she’d been telling all the other single moms that were tricked inside her tent. I took back my ten bucks before she had a chance to confiscate them and stormed out of there. I honestly don’t know why that thought popped into my head all of a sudden… but now… I gotta admit. She was pretty clairvoyant.”

“Okay. In what way?” Doesn’t she get it? I arch my eyebrow in a very ‘well, duh’ like expression. “You are Puerto Rican, aren’t you? That’s part of Latin America the last time I checked.”

She rolls her eyes. “Oh my god. Olivia, really? I love you unconditionally, but you’re kinda weird sometimes.”

I grin, she loves me unconditionally. “I told ya, it was stupid. You insisted.”

“I did and I regret it very much. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, I forgive you,” I lean over for a quick kiss then grab the empty food tray and place it on the floor. I’ll take it down in the morning. I roll over on my back and Natalia is there in an instant kissing me. There’s a twinkle in her eye. She wants something from me. “I have to pee again, but can we then make love one more time before going to sleep?”

“Hm, let me think, uh yes? What are you up to?”

“You’ll see…help me up?”

I get up from the bed quickly, despite the protest of sore muscles, and help her into a sitting position before pulling her up into a quick hug. “Hurry back.” I recline back on the bed in prime position to see her saunter over to the bathroom. How does she do that and look so sexy and be six and a half months pregnant? When I was six months pregnant with Jellybean I felt like a whale and it only got worse the bigger I got. I wonder if she feels that way too? She seems pretty comfortable in her own skin, but it won’t hurt to tell her every day how beautiful she is.

The bathroom door opens and my heart starts to do that fluttering thing it does every time I see her. Wow, I think I actually missed her. She was gone for two minutes and I missed her. Does that make me pathetic? Do I even care?

I hold my hand out for her, “come here gorgeous. I missed you.”

She grins, “oh you did? For the whole two minutes I was gone?”

I shrug and pull her towards me, “what can I say? Patience is not my forte.”

She excuses my silliness with an indulgent smile and settles herself down on the bed next to me, pushing the pillow away so her head is resting on the mattress. “Come here,” she orders.

I slide down from my reclined position and turn towards her, caressing her cheek, “what do you need baby?”

“You… here,” she lifts up her head kissing me, “in my mouth.”

“I am in your mouth,” I mumble against her lips.

“The other you…” she smiles and grabs my ass and pulls me forward. Does she mean?

“Do you mean?”

“Hold on to the headboard Olivia and get over here.”

Oh she does mean! I feel my center tingle in anticipation. “Are you sure? We don’t have to do everything in one night.”

“Baby, we’ve barely scratched the surface tonight, but I’ve wanted you like this forever and I’m going to have you, so move your sweet ass and get up here.”

Oh holy jesus! I attack her mouth and try to pour every single drop of emotion I have for her into it. She gives as good as she gets for a full minute or two before she gets impatient and squeezes my ass again, pulling me towards her. I break away and catch her eyes. Go! they tell me and I’m moving into position. Who needs foreplay when your girlfriend looks at you like that. I’m shaking with need for her by the time I settle on top of her, and her first touch almost unravels me. I have a feeling this is going to be embarrassingly short, so I squeeze the muscles in my thighs, careful not to move them closer together and hold on tight to the headboard to distract me.

She’s running her tongue through my folds, lapping at the juices that are coalescing there. There’s a rhythm and system to her movements and I feel like she’s playing me. Whenever she has licked me clean, her lips latch onto me, lightly sucking, then her tongue goes inside me, lightly fucking, and more wetness comes pouring out. We’ve only been together like this for one night but she already knows my body better than I do myself.

My thighs are burning and I’m straining to keep upright. Sweat is running down by back from the effort and it takes everything I’ve got not to do grind into her. “Oh god,” I moan out and I look down and we make eye contact. It’s almost surreal to look into her eyes from this position. Only in my wildest dreams did I imagine we’d be sharing something like this. I thought that her religion would hold her back, that she wouldn’t allow herself to fully embrace all that we could be, and if it ever actually came to it, the sex would be at most sweet and polite (and I was more than okay with that), but I’m so glad I was wrong, ’cause it would be a fucking crime against nature to miss this.

“Oh god, Natalia, baby…you are really, really good at this.” I think she’s smiling against me, her eyes shining with love. Her hands grip tighter against my thighs and she pulls down. Whoa! I almost panic and shake my head at her, holding tighter to the headboard. “I don’t wanna hurt you.”

Her eyes focus on mine and she nods her head, pulling again. I can hear her voice in my head, pleading with me. Let go, trust me. How is this possible? It’s scary and takes me a minute to decide, but I finally relax and give the control over to her. She latches onto my clit and moans her appreciation, and the vibrations do funny things to my body. I’m a quivering bundle of nerves on top of her and she holds me tight against her mouth as I grind into her. I’m panting and moaning without any reservation and a split second later my orgasm comes rushing through me at breakneck speed. It’s all I can do to not fall backwards. But Natalia is not stopping. Sweet fucking jesus! She’s not stopping and I feel myself coming again and again until there’s nothing left of me but a shaking boneless mass. I’m officially dead. All I am and all I every will be has poured out of me and into her.

I fall forward, just barely managing to pull my palms up before my forehead smacks into the wall. I have no idea how I’m still upright. I can feel Natalia shimmy underneath me and a few seconds later she’s wrapping her arms around me, pulling me back against her chest. We sit back on our haunches for I don’t know how long just catching our breaths. “I love you, I love you, I love you,” she whispers and I can only nod in response.

“Sleep now?” she asks once my breathing has slowed down and I nod again. Wordlessly we move in sync picking up pillows and sheets from the floor before settling down in each others arms.

I’ve almost drifted off to sleep when I remember that we’re very, very naked, and there’s a rambunctious eight year old across the hall that loves dragging me out of bed in the morning.

I sit up and turn on the light by the bed, rummaging through the nightstand drawer. If I know Natalia right, it should definitely be here.

“What are you doing?” Natalia wonders with her eyes closed.

“Preemptive damage control.”

“Huh?”

I find what I’m looking for, a yellow sticky note and a pen, and quickly write “Knock first Jellybean! Love you, mom” before rolling out of bed. I walk towards the bedroom door and open it, sticking the note in a height where Emma can’t miss it, then close the door again and crawl back in bed.

“Let’s hope it doesn’t fall down before she sees it.”

Natalia chuckles, “Fifty bucks she’ll come in anyway.”

I kiss her forehead and snuggle in closer. “I might as well just give you the money now. But at least I tried. When she’s sixteen and hating us and complaining about how we’ve been traumatizing her since childhood with our amazing love life, that little note will be my defense.”

“Oh god,” she complains but I know she’s laughing. “You think I’m funny, just admit it.”

“Never.”

***

The end

By the time I make it back to the house I’m panting. I jump up on the porch, skipping the steps all together and hurl myself through the open door before skidding to a halt. Natalia’s voice in my head is saying: Slow down. It reminds me of Decker actually, which in return reminds me of the proposal on my desk which I still haven’t signed about the franchising options…and who the fuck cares. I shake my head and turn towards the door and close it, clicking the lock in place. Natalia is (god willing, it’s only been five minutes since I left) still naked upstairs in the bathroom and now is not the time to be thinking about work. I take a deep calming breath and make my way up the stairs.

The bedroom is empty, and there’s still light inside the bathroom. Yes!

I wonder if I should just rip my clothes off right now and storm in there, or ask if I can join her first. I decide to peek inside and at least make sure she’s still in the bathtub before stripping. I nudge the door halfway open and stare at the vision in front of me. Natalia is reclined in the bathtub with her eyes closed. She’s pulled her hair up in a bun but a few tendrils have gotten loose and help guide my eyes from her face, down her neck and into the water. The rest of her body is hidden under a layer of bubbles and I’ve never wanted to be bubbles in a bubble bath as much as I do right now. And what’s with all these bubble references today, seriously? That’s a lot of bubbles.

She hasn’t opened her eyes yet, but I think she knows I’m here. Her lips are moving up into a smile.

“Took you long enough.”

Yes, yes it did.

“I’m sorry,” I apologize, because really, what else can I say for my abhorrent misreading of the situation. I’ve just spent so many months trying not to interpret everything that she says and does as something sexual, that when it actually happens I’m clueless.

Her eyes open and she takes me in, traveling slowly up my body, stopping for a minute around my chest area to take in the scenery before coming to a stop when she locks eyes with mine. I seem to have forgotten how to breathe. It still amazes me how much she affects me like this. I’ve been married five times, had too many to count lovers, yet one look from her and I’m trembling like a leaf. How does she do it?

“So what are you waiting for?”

There is absolutely no misreading that and I step fully into the room and close the door behind me. I kick my sandals away and pull my t-shirt off, tossing it in the hamper. The old me would have tossed it on the floor and waited for the maid to pick it up (who, bizarre as it is right now to think about, used to be Natalia) but that’s never happening again. We’re starting fresh, equal footing and all and if that means I have to pick up after myself and toss my dirty laundry in the hamper then gosh darn it, that’s what’s going to happen! And damn I’m weird. Stop thinking. Strip.

I unbuckle my belt and slide it slowly through each belt loop until it comes off completely. I drop it next to my shoes and then unbutton my pants. These khakis are pretty loose right now because I lost some weight over the summer so they almost slide down on their own accord but I still use my hands to push them halfway down because it helps me keep focus. I bend down to pick them up. In the hamper you go. And oh my god, I’m standing in just my bra and panties in front of Natalia. I’m so glad I chose a matching pair this morning!

She’s watching me intently, her breathing has increased and I know her chest is moving rapidly up and down if the movement of the water and bubbles is anything to go by. Her eyes are watching my chest and I think she’s looking at my scar. This is the first time she’s seen it after the bandages came off. At the time it was an ugly dark-red reminder of her husband. I wonder what she thinks of it now, all pink and white against my skin. My left hand comes up covering it before I can stop myself.

No, no, I force myself to move my hand away. I don’t want to hide anymore. I look down and trace the scar with my index finger before dropping my hand against my side. “I love you,” she says, emphasizing on the ‘you’ part and I look up. It’s like when we were at Rafe’s hearing, she’s putting me at ease. It’s no longer about Gus and maybe, no, I know, it never really was. She just loves me.

And right now I can’t wait to join her in that bathtub. I practically rip off the rest of my clothes tossing them in the aforementioned hamper and stopping only for a minute to let her catch on (yes sweetheart, this is all yours), I smirk and ask her oh so nicely to scoot over. She does so wordlessly, her eyes a little glazed (I still got it), and I slide into the warm water behind her. I pause for a millisecond to get used to the heat – the water must have been freaking scalding when she went in – and then I pull her body against mine.

“Sweet jesus!” I hiss. It feels like we’re connected from head to toe. She’s nestled between my legs and there’s not a single part of my lower body that isn’t touching hers. It feels amazing. Her arms are resting by the side of the bathtub and I lower mine on hers and interlace our fingers. Her head is supported by my right shoulder, her upper back is pressed against my chest and stomach and then her lower back is pressing deliciously down on my center. I’m almost embarrassed to admit it, but that’s about as close to sex as I’ve come since before the transplant. Natalia makes a whimpering sound that makes me tingle all over. I think she’s having the same reaction I am. “Oh my god, this feels so amazing,” she practically moans out. Yup, that confirms it. I think I’ve just died and gone to heaven.

“You can say that again.”

“This feels so fucking amazing.”

I gasp in mock surprise, “Natalia, baby, did you just swear? I don’t think I’ve ever heard you use that word before.” I tilt my head a little to kiss her temple, and then her cheek. “It’s really hot.”

“You’ve also never taken a bath with me before…” she points out, “there’s still lots you don’t know about me.” Her arms slip into the water and she starts to move her fingers up and down my thighs. Well, that’s certainly…distracting.

“I cannot wait to experience more firsts with you…” My lips move to her ear, because I really cannot not go there. It’s adorable. I lightly nibble on her earlobe and whisper between each touch, “…and seconds, and thirds and fourths…” There are drops of water running down her neck which distract me and I pull away, chasing them with my lips and tongue.

“Olivia…” she moans and I shiver from the sound of it. I slip my arms gently around her waist and pull her even closer.

I’m kind of content to just lie like this forever, holding her close and breathing her in. Her naked body against mine. It’s unreal. I couldn’t have imagined this myself even if I tried. And I did, several times and in different positions. There is just nothing in my vast experience of sexual escapades that really compares, and so I’m kind of defenseless and just have to relax and go with my gut. Which, incidentally, is doing a very good impression of butterfly arboretum.

Natalia sighs and sinks a little deeper into me. She finds my hands underneath the water and clasps them together on her stomach, covering them with her own. She closes her eyes and turns her head slightly towards mine, moving in closer. “I love you,” she says softly and my heart starts pounding in my chest. I think she can feel the change in my heart rate, ’cause she’s smiling now.

“Can you feel that?” I whisper and she nods, her eyes still closed but her smile is bigger.

“What do you make of it?”

She opens her eyes and pulls back a little facing me, her eyes shining with unshed tears. “You love me,” she says sure yet amazed and kisses me gently.

I nod and try to swallow the lump in my throat that suddenly appears, “I do.”

“I know,” she kisses me again, “I still can’t believe it sometimes. Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Forgiving me.”

“That was actually the easy part.”

She shakes her head, “forgiving is not easy Olivia, there are people that go on entire lifetimes being bitter and angry and unforgiving, but you, you’re just amazing,” I shrug and drop my eyes down, I don’t feel very amazing. “You are,” she repeats, as if reading my thoughts, “I told you before, you’re the most forgiving person I’ve ever met. You may not love easily, but once you do allow yourself to love, it is the strongest and most surest love there is. True, fierce, loyal and forgiving and I’m so grateful I get to share it with you. And Olivia,” she pauses finding my eyes again, “I know you don’t trust me yet, not completely, and that’s okay. It’s going to take time for me to gain that trust back, but sweetheart, forgiving me was the first step in that process and it had to come from you. No matter how relentless I was being, I wasn’t going to be able to force that to happen. So thank you, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.”

And I’m crying again. Great. I do manage a mumbled “you’re welcome” and “I love you” before I lose myself in her kisses to make it better. I think she understands what I need because she’s kissing me back with abandon. I need her to want me and need me like I need her. I’ve always needed her, from the moment we met. I’m losing myself in her, and suddenly I get the urge to taste her everywhere, so I release her mouth and move down to her chin, and jaw and cheek, I kiss and nibble and taste. I kiss her forehead and both eyelids and nose, and it makes her giggle and crinkle it up adorably. I touch her nose with mine and tell her how adorable she is when she does that, then I continue my journey. I’m sucking lightly on her neck now, almost euphoric from the taste and feel of it. I think I have a new found sympathy with vampires. This is quickly becoming an addiction.

“You’re really good at this…” she says and turns her head towards mine, seeking and capturing my lips with her own. We trade soft kisses, tasting each other.

“Good at what?” I wonder and capture her bottom lip between mine, gently sucking on it. She says something but it just sounds like mumbling. Like mother like son, I guess. I chuckle. Oh, that was bad. I release her bottom lip and instead pepper small kisses around her face again, while my hands caress her stomach and ribs, inching closer towards her chest. “What did you say?”

“You’re driving me crazy…” she moves and turns halfway in the water, her movement causing enticing friction in several places. And oh god, now her hip is pressing into me, right there, and it’s all I can do to not rock my hips. Oh baby, you’re driving me crazy too.

Her right hand grabs the back of my neck and she pulls me towards her in a demanding kiss. Her tongue literally plunders my mouth and it goes on forever. I start feeling dizzy and faint and I have to pull back a second later to catch my breath, “good god woman, are you trying to kill me?”

“Don’t even joke about that,” she says and dives in again, this time sucking my tongue into her mouth.

Okay, I think I have to reevaluate every single (apparent) misconception I had about Natalia’s experience or lack there of. The woman can kiss! What else is she good at?

She pulls back after a minute and we rest our foreheads together, catching our breaths. “I want you, like all the time,” she admits with a soft smile. I think she might be a little embarrassed about that. “I’ve never wanted anyone or anything as much as I want you,” I confess as well and I can feel her nodding, accepting the truth in my words. “I know,” she says and I have to kiss her again. I’ll never get tired of it.

She’s twisting slightly back into her original position and my head follows so we don’t break our kiss. She puts her hands on top of mine and urges them up until my hands are filled with her soft breasts. I moan into her mouth and kiss her harder, stretching my fingers to capture as much of her as I can. Okay, I’ve touched and played with my breasts plenty of time. You’d think that touching another woman’s breast would be no different. No big deal, right? Wrong! Touching hers, so not the same.

And wow, pregnancy has really, um, filled her. I mean let’s be honest here, they’re huge. I thought mine were big, but damn…

She’s mumbling against my mouth again so I pull back to understand, “what baby?”

“I need you,” she breathes out hesitantly and arches her back, pressing hard against my center. Fuck me, that’s good. Does she know what she’s doing? “Anything,” I whimper, “you can ask me anything.”

“I need you,” she says again, this time with certainty, and moves my right hand away from her breast (bye, bye, I was becoming very fond of you) and towards her own center. Oh. Oh! “…fuck,” I moan, finishing the thought out loud.

“Yes, Olivia, please…” she begs, and the combination of that, in conjunction with what I said and the feeling of my hand touching her and how she’s moving her hips, it’s almost too much for me. I’m shivering uncontrollably; from arousal, excitement, stimulation, all of the above? I don’t know, I just know I need to touch her.

So I do.

My hand moves hesitantly at first, getting familiar with her sex. I trace over landscape so familiar with my own, yet different at the same time. I can’t see what I’m doing from this position, so I have to go by touch and instinct, but that doesn’t bother me. This feels mother fucking amazing, and I’ve done this enough times by myself that I’m pretty confident I can make her feel good too. Plus, Natalia, god bless this amazingly gorgeous woman in my arms, turns out to be a pretty vocal lover. And wow, that just hit me. Lover. She’s my lover now. Will wonders never cease?

But next time, when I touch her like this, I want to be front and center, preferably with the lights on. I don’t want to miss a thing.

I abandon my post momentarily to cup her chin with my left hand, directing her mouth towards mine. I really need to be kissing her right now. As soon as she accepts my tongue into her mouth, I move my hand back into the water and tease her nipples with my fingers.

My other hand is exploring Natalia in her most intimate places and it’s quite obvious to me that I’ve never made love to anyone before now. Everything before this has been just sex. Even with the men I actually, truly loved, it was never like this. I never opened up to them fully, and in return they didn’t open up to me. It took someone like Natalia, with her never-ending love and patience, and let’s face it, she’s stubborn as hell, to see past my bullshit and find me. I know there are tears streaming down my face right now but I don’t care. I’m so fucking full of love for this woman I just can’t help it. When she left, I was devastated. Like truly, honestly devastated. Wrecked beyond repair, or so I thought. I’m not fully healed now, far from it. I know it, she knows it, but it’s moments like these that go a really, really long way to accomplish that. Like really.

I’m caressing her now with long firm strokes, alternating with swirls and swipes around her bundle of nerves to mix it up. I don’t want to overwhelm her, but I also don’t want her to miss out on anything. And this always seems to work wonders with me. ‘Do unto others…’ and so on, right? I can feel her clitoris rise up from my ministrations and my fingers are now rubbing circles around her entrance, itching to go in. “Can I?” I whisper next to her ear and she nods frantically. “God yes, Olivia inside, now…”

I think I’ll remember the feel of my fingers sliding inside her for the first time forever. It’s warm and inviting and it’s overwhelming because it’s Natalia. I’ve been wanting this and fantasizing and dreaming about this for months and now it’s here and it’s really, really happening and wow, she’s really responding to me. I’m moving my middle and ring finger in and out, in and out and Natalia is moving her hips in rhythm with my movements. I’m really (and there’s no other word to describe it) fucking her with my hand and it’s almost hypnotizing in its simplicity. Such simple mechanics, yet the reward is so great.

Her hips have started moving faster and faster and the sounds she’s making in my mouth tell me that she’s close. I’m pretty close myself as well. Every time she moves her hips down again, she pushes against me, so I’ve started moving my hips a little as well to meet her. The water is sloshing all over the place, but my god, the feeling coursing through my body right now is so ridiculous, I couldn’t slow down even if I tried. I’ll gladly pay for any water damage tomorrow. Right now, I want this. I want her.

I can feel myself start to break apart, so I speed up my fingers inside her. I need her to come with me. I stretch my arm as far as it can go, and push my wrist down further so the palm of my hand presses against her epicenter harder. My arm feels like it’s falling off, it’s going to be crazy sore tomorrow, but it’s so worth it.

She’s moaning into my mouth and I think I can hear my name somewhere in the midst of it, but I want to be sure. I tear my mouth away and latch onto her neck, sucking on her pulse point. Oh yeah, she’s definitely moaning my name. That’s the sweetest sound in world, right there.

And oh my god, I think it’s happening now. I can feel it. Her walls are pulsing and clenching around my fingers and her hips start to buck uncontrollably. Her head falls back over my shoulder and she lets out a long keening sound that sounds suspiciously like “Oliiiviiiaaaa”. I’m bursting with pride. Seriously. And dear god in fucking heaven, her backside repeatedly hits my center hard in the midst of it all and it sends me tumbling alongside her. Holy mother! “Natalia…” I moan as I start to tremble, my eyelids fluttering as I strain to keep them open but it’s too much. My hips buck in rhythm with hers as I ride out the waves, my eyes close and my heart pounds wildly in my chest. Pleasure shoots out from my center and travels to every part of my body. I can feel the veins in my forehead popping and straining to keep it inside. Good god!

When it’s all over I collapse bonelessly back against the back of the tub, Natalia follows me a second later. I’m pretty glad she can’t read my mind, because holy bejeezus Batman! I owe the swear jar about a million bucks. That was so fucking good! My head falls back and I close my eyes, trying to catch my breath.

“Oh my fucking god…” I hear. Did I say that out loud? I don’t know, my brain is in kind of a mush right now. “That was…oh my fucking god!” Oh wait, it’s Natalia. Hey, she sounds like me.

Somewhere I find the strength to lift my arms and wrap them around her and hold her tight. “You’re fucking damn right it was,” I agree whole-heartedly.

I never really had the chance before, but now, lying here with Natalia naked, and me being ridiculously satisfied and not trembling with need for her (although, I can feel it growing in my belly the longer we lie together like this) I’m taking the time to really look at her and damn, the woman has lots of birthmarks. It’s incredibly sexy. I knew she had birthmarks, of course, I’ve spent enough time staring at her that I can, with my eyes closed, pinpoint every birthmark she has on her arms and face and neck. But look at it, it’s on her shoulders, and back, and thighs… it’s everywhere, and I can’t wait until we go to bed and I can really explore. It’s like the northern sky with stars and constellations and galaxies. Maybe I can name a star after myself? That’s, that’s kinda, sorta hot. Like claiming her, or laying the land…or… and what the hell am I thinking about? What am I? A cowboy? A pioneer?

Thankfully my love interrupts me before I can go any further in my madness.

“Where, how, when… what with the what…” Has she lost her mind too? Damn, I’m good.

“Honey?”

“Where did you learn how to do that?” She finally asks and I wonder which that she’s referring to?

“Just that whole thing, especially…” she pulls my right hand towards her face and kisses each finger reverently. Oh boy.

“Oh that…well, I’ve had, you know, a lot of experience with that.”

“What?!” She whips her head around so quickly she almost head-butts me. Missed it by this much.

“What?” I see the look on her face and she’s alarmed, afraid, hurt and I could kick myself. “No! No, no, no, no, no, no. Nuh huh and no. You’re my first. Only you baby.”

“Then…”

I lean in close gauging her reaction and when she doesn’t move away I kiss her softly, “come here.” She eyes me somewhat warily, but then turns back around and settles back into my arms. “I meant,” I say softly, “that I’ve had a lot of experience doing that to myself. You know,” I lean closer to whisper in her ear, “masturbation.”

A shiver runs through her and I rub my hands up and down her arms. “Are you cold?”

“No…but we really need to get out of this bathtub and in bed. Like right now.”

***

TBC

Fade to black (1/2)

by Tinna Karen

After what has felt like hours of unpacking and entertaining guests, but in reality was only maybe three hours, Natalia and I are sitting side by side on her bed, or I guess, our bed now, facing the overflowing wardrobe.

"We’re gonna need a bigger boat," I say with a smile, "or you know, a wardrobe."

Natalia chuckles, "You ain’t lying Brody."

I’m impressed. I didn’t think she had watched any movies before the 80′s. "Oh, you caught that reference, did ya? Were you even born when that movie came out?"

"Uh, yes," she answers, rolling her eyes. "I’m only six years younger than you."

"Wow, so you were two years old when you went to see a movie about a big bad shark?"

She rolls her eyes again. I love it when she does that. And that, that slight huff of annoyance (or that’s what she wants me to think, but I know it’s something else now), it always spurs me on. "You know, your sarcasm really isn’t all that attractive."

"Aw, but honey, it’s not sarcasm when it’s the truth," I tease her.

"You’re so annoying."

If she hadn’t said that while her eyes were clearly focused on my lips, I might have been offended. "You’re lying," I say, and lean towards her.

"Oh, am I?"

"Yup, I think you find it very," I lean even closer, whispering in her ear, "very attractive." I finish with a soft kiss on her cheek. Her lips curl up in a soft smile and I use the opportunity to kiss one of her dimples. It’s something I’ve been wanting to do forever, it seems. I might even be a little obsessed with it, if I say so myself. No biggie. I kiss her again, slowly inching my way towards her mouth.

"Olivia…" Natalia turns her head a fraction of an inch and now our lips are almost touching … so close now … but then she pulls back. I can’t help it. I pout.

She puts her hand on my cheek, her thumb moving up and down in a soothing motion. It sends a shiver down my back. She ducks her head a little, catching my eyes so I give her my full attention. Her hand moves to the back of my neck, pulling me closer and I go willingly.

"I’m really glad you’re home," she says sincerely.

When I said a few days ago that I might not believe anything she said ever again I wasn’t really necessarily lying, it was just how I felt at that moment, but I know her, and I know she doesn’t lie. She might skirt the truth, occasionally – usually to avoid hurting people, but I know in my heart that everything she has said since she came back has been the truth. It just took me a long time to see it, and believe in it.

This moving-in business happened quickly, so quickly that I even allowed Doris to slip in the (according to Google) customary U-Haul jokes without glaring too much, but then again, it’s not like Natalia and I just meet a few days ago, this has been coming for a long time. A very, very long time. And despite the massive, and still painful obstacles along the way, we’re working through it. And right here, right now, I’m happy. Really, truly happy. So I’m not lying when I answer. "Me too," and then we’re kissing.

This is not our first kiss, not even our second, or third – Natalia’s been catching me off guard all day with small pecks here and there – but I think this is our first real real kiss. There are no sneak attacks, no points to be made, just two people who love each other very much, connecting. It’s kind of overwhelming.

Her lips are soft, but I knew that already, and her hair smells like vanilla and berries, but it’s a scent that’s been etched into my olfactory memory since our first hug. I’ve also become (somewhat, yet I crave it every minute) accustomed to the feel of her arms around me, and mine on her, so I thought that I was well prepared for this, that my heart could take the sensory overload, but I was wrong. So very wrong. It’s everything I hoped it would be and knew it could be, but just … more. Much more.

I’m glad I’m sitting down, because otherwise I’d be in a heap on the floor right about now. Instead I fall back on the bed pulling Natalia with me. It looks like a move, but it’s not, it’s really not. I’ve been shaking so much that the arm that was propping me up just gave way. It doesn’t look like it did much damage though, we haven’t stopped kissing, if anything it just made everything even more passionate. Natalia is partly on top of me, her hands roaming and – holy bejeezus – her tongue is in my mouth now. Again, not a move.

I hear a soft knock, which my brain, in its infinite wisdom, analyzes and lets me know that it’s coming from the open bedroom door, but really, I’m far too gone to even care. It’s Natalia that breaks away first as soon as we hear the soft "mom?" in Emma’s voice directly after the knock.

We stare at each other for a few seconds, Natalia’s eyes are wide open and her cheeks are tinged with embarrassment, but there’s also a slight twinkle in her eye, and I’m thrilled when I see the small smirk on her lips. This is far from over it tells me, and I can only shake my head in agreement.

Natalia rolls off me and tries to sit up, a feat made more difficult for her every day with the ever growing baby bump. A baby bump, which I just now realized had been pressing into my side and it didn’t bother me… at all. I sit up quickly and help the love of my life (and really, there’s no doubt in my mind now that she’s owned that title for months), do the same. Her hand finds mine and I face my daughter with a happy sigh.

"What’s up Jellybean? Are you all unpacked?"

"Yup," she answers, and shuffles into the room, a small smile on her face. "I just wanted to say goodnight to my baby sister."

"Goodnight?" I question and glance back towards the nightstand. The alarm reads 10:34 PM. Oops. It is way past her bed time.

Emma sits down on the bed next to Natalia and puts her hand on the baby bump. Natalia wraps her arm automatically around Emma and I can see her eyes shining with unshed tears. I squeeze her hand in solidarity. I know how she feels.

"Wow, she’s moving a lot," Emma says amazed.

"Yeah, she’s really, really happy right now," Natalia explains.

"How do you know?" Emma wonders, and slides down on her knees so she can listen to her sister being happy. "Huh, I hear bubbles."

Natalia chuckles, "I know, I feel them too." She puts her hand on top of Emma’s head, playing with her ponytail. "I know she’s happy because, well, you see we’re connected, she’s a part of me and when I’m happy, she’s happy too."

"So you’re happy now?"

"Very happy."

"Is it ’cause you were kissing mommy?"

"Um," Natalia looks at me for pointers but I just shrug. I’m more interested in these bubbles I keep hearing about. I place my hand next to Emma’s head and try to feel for the bubbles. Natalia moves my hand until I can feel them. Thank you, I mouth to her.

Natalia dives back in, "yes Emma. Kissing your mommy makes me very happy." I keep my eyes trained on Emma to see her reaction and there’s no mistaken that glint in her eye. She’s up to something.

"Are you sure it was kissing? ‘Cause it kinda looked like you were mauling her."

Natalia’s jaw drops. "Maul…where, what? How…" I almost snort. Oh my god, that’s funny. It takes everything I have to not laugh out loud right now.

Emma shrugs, "I saw it on TV, ‘When animals attack.’"

That does it, I fall back on the bed howling with laughter. Natalia slaps me on the stomach and that just makes me laugh even more.

"What am I going to do with you? You are way too much like you mother young lady," Natalia says disapprovingly, but the laughter in her voice takes out all the sting. Emma sits back on her haunches and looks up with a beaming smile before getting up.

She gives Natalia a hug and a goodnight kiss before jumping on top of me on the bed to do the same. Oof. "Good night mommy."

"Good night baby. Do you want me to come tug you in?" She gets off the bed and shakes her head, "nope, I’m good."

"Don’t forget to brush your teeth sweetie," Natalia gently reminds her before she skips out. "I won’t mama," she says and then she’s gone.

It takes a minute for us to realize it but, "Did she just call me…?" She sure did. I sit up and wrap my arms around Natalia. "Hey mama," I whisper and breathe her in.

"Oh my…" Natalia burrows into me, and it’s not long until I can hear her softly crying. I pull back a little to see her face, "hey, baby, what’s wrong?" She shakes her head, the tears streaming down her face. I reach up to brush them away, "nothing…it’s nothing, it’s just…" she wraps her arms around me, "thank you, thank you, thank you," she whispers again and again. "I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t…I can’t even imagine not…it’s just…god, I love you so much. You’re the most amazing and forgiving person I’ve ever known. Thank you."

My own tears are streaming down my face now and I hold on tighter. Forgiving? Me? I wanna ask if she’s ever actually met, you know, herself, but I settle for telling her I love her too instead. I just want to sit like this forever, enjoying this closeness and comfort, and the very tangible love that flows between us. I could have lost this too, so I know exactly how she’s feeling. It still amazes me how we were able to not see what was really happening for so long. Or more accurately, deny it. It was so obvious, now that I think about it. Like I told Josh, in retrospective, deep down I knew we were going to end up like this, way before Gus died.

"I’m so happy. I can’t believe she called me mama…" I hear the contented sigh and I know that the serious portion of the evening is behind us now. There are still things we need to talk about, but for the first time in a long time, I feel light and free, I guess. And really, really happy, so I tell her.

"Me too. And can I just say that you’re a really hot mama, claws and all," I joke, "you can maul me like that any time you want."

"Oh god," she pulls away and slaps me lightly on the arm, "I’m such a mess." She wipes the remaining tears from her eyes and lets out a yawn. How adorable. "You’re beautiful," I correct her. She gives me a small smile and gets up, and walks slowly to the master bath stretching her arms. She turns back in the doorway and looks at me.

"I think I’m gonna take a bath before going to bed, do you want to…"

Use the bathroom before? "Nope, I’m good," I say and jump up from the bed with a slight spring in my step. "I think I’ll grab these empty boxes and toss them out in the barn. You go ahead."

"Oh…well, okay." She frowns and turns around and I watch as the door closes slowly behind her.

I make quick work of folding the boxes together, so I can get rid of them all in one trip, trying hard not to think about Natalia, getting undressed behind the closed door a few feet away from me. Or well, almost closed door I notice, when I glance quickly in that direction.

When I get out in the hallway, I see that Emma has also folded her boxes together and stacked them neatly against the wall. That’s my girl. I add them to the pile I have in my arms and quickly go down the stairs and out the door.

Halfway towards the barn I freeze and drop the boxes to the ground. "Oh fuck," I look towards the house and focus in on the light in the master bathroom. That look on her face, she was hopeful when she asked and I didn’t see it. Then when I said no…Oh, stupid stupid stupid Spencer. I pick up the boxes again and trudge towards the barn in a huff. "When your girlfriend asks if you want to take a bath with her you say YES!" I toss the boxes inside. Wait! She left the door open. I practically run back towards the house.

***

TBC

Drowning out the noise

by Tinna Karen

Rafe opened the door to his home and stepped in, hoping to find the smell of something cooking in the kitchen. He took a quick whiff and frowned. Nada. The only thing he could smell was the lasting effect of an apple-cinnamon scented candle, that had been snuffed out hours ago, and a faint, slightly musky scent that hung in the air. What is that? And why is it so hot in here? He decided to leave the door open to let in some fresh air while he hung up his jacket and then walked across the living room to the kitchen to look for the other occupants in the house.”Hey, ma? Olivia?”

There was no one in the kitchen, and he couldn’t hear any noise coming from upstairs. Huh. He had come home a little early from work because the store was closed today for inventory count, and it hadn’t taken as long as he expected, but still, it was 3 PM on a Sunday, usually somebody was home. Plus, Olivia’s car was parked outside. Maybe they took a walk or something.

He opened the fridge to look for some snacks. Five minutes later he walked back into the living room with a homemade sandwich and a glass of milk and sat in front of the TV. He channel surfed for a bit before deciding on a Top Gear re-run.

About 10 minutes into the show he heard a faint thud coming from upstairs, and his eyes moved to the ceiling. He lowered the volume on the TV to hear better. He waited for full five seconds but couldn’t hear anything more, so he turned the volume back up and continued watching. Five minutes passed before he heard another thud, and what sounded like an ‘oomph’. His curiosity peaked, he walked up the stairs to go check it out. On the third step, he turned quickly back, grabbed his baseball bat from the wardrobe just in case, and moved slowly back up the stairs. When he reached the landing he heard a muffled voice from his mom’s bedroom and recognizing it immediately as Olivia’s he sighed and lowered the baseball bat. He was about to knock on the door when he heard his mom’s voice, but it sounded a lot different then he was used to. It was lower and … Is she moan… he couldn’t finish his thought. Fuck!He turned quickly on his heels and practically ran down the stairs, his hands covering his ears. No no no no no no!

***

Olivia stopped what she was doing and lifted her head, “did you hear something?”

“Olivia!” Natalia complained, and lifted her hips, bumping into Olivia’s nose.

“Oh, right… sorry honey,” Olivia apologized and resumed her position.

***

Rafe ran quickly downstairs and towards the wardrobe. He was planning on getting the hell out of the house when Emma walked in through the open door, looking a little sullen. “Why’s the door open”, she said to herself as she walked in, then she saw her brother putting his jacket on, “Oh, hey Rafe, why are you home?” she said as she started up the stairs.

“I finished work early,” he explained, “hey! whoa, where are you going?”

“Uh, hello, upstairs to my room,” she said matter-of-factly, and continued.

“No wait!” Rafe hissed. He grabbed her around the waist and swung her around.

Emma whined, “hey, let me go!” Rafe put her down and stood between her and the stairs. “I wanna go upstairs and play on the Wii,” she complained.

“What? Wouldn’t you rather be outside in this weather? It’s all sunny and warm, and you know, the ducks are like right there,” he tried to distract her, and pointed outside, not so subtlety trying to push her towards the door.

“No, outside is stupid,” she grumbled and spun away from him, heading back upstairs.

He blocked her entrance again and shook his head, “you can’t go upstairs…not right now.”

“Why not?”

“You just can’t.”

“But I want to.”

“But you can’t”

“Why not?”

“You just can’t Emma.”

“But I want to Rafe!”

“Emma…”

“Rafe…”

“Oh Olivia!”

Rafe cringed and closed his eyes.

“What was that?” Emma asked, and looked upstairs. “Is ma home?”

Rafe’s eyes were still closed as he nodded. “I wanna see her, I need to tell her what Jodie did.”

“Oh, now is not a good time for that Em. Please, let’s just go outside. We can get ice cream. I know how much you like ice cream. Wouldn’t that be fun?”

“I hate ice cream. And I hate Jodie and I want to talk to mommy!” Emma almost yelled.

“Aw, munchkin,” Rafe said and picked up Emma, “trust me, ma and Olivia are a little busy right now, but you can always talk to me.” He walked them both towards the couch and sat down, Emma sitting in his lap. “Come on, we’ll watch some TV and eat some popcorn and you can tell me. If anyone was mean to you you just have to let me know and I’ll protect you. I am your big brother, after all.”

“Really?”

“Really, really.”

Emma nodded and hugged Rafe. She was about to tell him what happened when they heard more noises from their mothers. “What are they doing up there?”

Rafe turned the volume on the TV a little higher. “Trust me Em, you don’t wanna know.”

***

“That was freakin’ amazing,” Olivia said and burrowed deeper into Natalia. “I love it when no one is home. You’re so … unreserved … when it’s just the two of us,” she quipped and was nudged in the stomach by Natalia’s thigh in response.

“I don’t think,” Natalia took a deep breath, “you can attribute that with no one being home … that was all you and your relentless tongue.”

Olivia grinned, feeling more than a little proud. “And stop grinning,” Natalia said knowingly, even though her eyes were closed and Olivia’s head was actually resting on her stomach so she couldn’t see her grin.

“How did you know I was grinning?”

“‘Cause I know you, and I can feel it on my tummy.”

“Oh really?” Olivia lifted her head, “can you feel this?”

Natalia felt a soft kiss above her belly button, “yup.”

“How about this?” Another kiss above her heart.

Natalia nodded.

“And this?” Olivia blew softly over Natalia’s right nipple.

“Oh yes,” Natalia quickly pulled Olivia up and then spun them around, so that Olivia was lying beneath her. “I can feel you everywhere,” she breathed, and kissed Olivia lightly on the mouth, “and I can feel,” she emphasized with a touch of her hand, “that you are so ready for me.”

***

“…and then Jodie pushed me, and I fell off the couch! Can you believe that? Just ’cause I’m better than she is in Guitar Hero!”

“What? Well that’s just silly. I can’t imagine anyone wanting to push you… you’re so cute and cuddly,” Rafe joked and tickled Emma until she was laughing and squirming so much she almost fell off the couch. Again. “Okay, I’ll stop,” he said and pulled her further into the couch, “we wouldn’t want you to fall out off this couch too. You’d get a couch complex. You’d be afraid to sit on any couch ever again from fear of falling! They’d have to name a whole new disease because of you. It would be the ‘emmacouchtigo’, and then someone will write a book about it, and then a movie will be made out of the book starring Miley Cyrus and it would be called ‘Why is everyone standing around?’ and…”Emma stopped laughing and Rafe sighed, leaned towards the coffee table and increased the volume on the TV.

“They sure can talk a lot,” Emma said quietly and reached for more popcorn.

“Yup.”

***

Somewhere in her sex-fuddled brain, and in-between kisses and her wrist straining against Olivia, Natalia started hearing low voices. What is that? There was also music and sound effects, like explosions, and… Am I going insane? It’s like a movie in my head. But then Olivia moaned loudly in her ear and the noises went away. Natalia was able to focus again on Olivia who was sitting in her lap and moving against her hand, her lover’s breasts bouncing in front of her eyes as Olivia leaned back on her hands, digging them into the mattress for balance, as she used her hips to ride Natalia’s fingers. Oh wow.

But then the noises came back, louder this time, more distinct, and Natalia knew. It’s the TV. Someone is downstairs. “Oh my god.”

“Oh yeah,” Olivia answered and ground down harder.

“No, Olivia, wait.. there’s…” Olivia pushed up and wrapped both arms around her shoulders, pulling her close and silencing her with rapid kisses, “can’t wait… oh god, so close…”, and all Natalia could do was continue. Olivia moaned louder and louder, the noises from the TV became louder and louder and even if Natalia knew she should be feeling embarrassed right now, the need to make Olivia come spurred her on. Her brain was busy figuring out who was downstairs, but her body and fingers and mouth moved with practiced ease and pure instinct and she couldn’t stop.

It wasn’t until after Olivia called out her name and started convulsing around her fingers and finally collapsing on top of her, that Natalia started wondering again. Emma is supposed to be at Jodie’s and Rafe at work… I know we locked both doors…so that means…

“Huh,” Olivia said a few minutes later. “Did we leave the TV on?”

Natalia shook her head, “nope.”

“So that means…”

Natalia nodded.

“Oh.”

***

About thirty minutes, two showers and a lot of silent looks later, Olivia and Natalia walked quietly down the stairs. The TV was back to normal volume strength and Rafe and Emma sat cuddled together on the couch eating ice cream and watching Spongebob.

“I thought you were at work?”

“I thought you were at Jodie’s?”

Both children looked up at their respective parents, “I came home early,” they answered at the same time.

“When?” Natalia asked.

Rafe shrugged, “two hours maybe.”

Natalia gasped and felt her face heat up, and walked quickly to the kitchen. Olivia stood still alternating her gaze at Rafe and Emma and the kitchen before giving into her need to comfort Natalia.

She found Natalia sitting by the kitchen table with both hands covering her face and quietly mumbling to herself. Olivia pulled up a chair and sat next Natalia, and maneuvered her slowly into a hug.

“I’m so embarrassed. There is absolutely no way they didn’t hear us,” Natalia said quietly.

“I know.”

“And that doesn’t bother you?”

“Eh,” Olivia shrugged, causing Natalia to look into her eyes. She lifted an eyebrow. “Are you serious?”

“Okay, maybe a little,” Olivia admitted. “But it’s not a big deal… so what? They heard a couple of muffled moans?”

“There were more than just a couple.” Natalia pointed out.

“Maybe so, but if you ask me, honestly… I’d rather that my kids know that I’m madly in love with their other mother, instead of thinking that we don’t love each other.”

“Why would they think that?”

Olivia was quiet for a moment, “I don’t know.”

“Olivia…you wouldn’t have said it if you didn’t have some idea.”

“Ok fine. I just…uh, I mean we…” Olivia sighed, “we’re trying to be so careful around them, you know, they’ve never even seen us kiss, and maybe…”

“Maybe what?”

“Maybe, they think that we’re just not the kind of couple that kiss and stuff. And some people might think that we don’t love each other as much as we claim to, that our relationship is just, you know, emotional and not physical.”

“What people? We’re talking about Rafe and Emma here.”

“People in this town talk Natalia. Rafe and Emma could accidentally be around to hear that. I don’t want them or anyone else to think that I’m just, I don’t know, biding my time here until someone better comes along.”

“They don’t think that. Nobody thinks that. You love me. It’s as clear as day.”

“To you maybe, but not to other people. What do they see? We hold hands, we sit close, we hug… we don’t kiss.”

Natalia sat back in her chair and bit her lower lip. “Is this your way of saying that you want more public displays of affection?”

“Oh yes please! I’m so ready for public displays of affection. I want to kiss you during lunch at Company and make out in the elevator at Towers and…” Olivia leaned closer so she could whisper into Natalia’s ear, “I really, really want to make love to you in the gazebo at the park, at night, under the moonlight…”

Natalia drew in a sharp breath. “Oh god, Olivia, that’s so…”

“What?”

Before Olivia knew what was happening Natalia had climbed into her lap and was kissing her with abandon. It was only when their combined weight made the chair fall backwards that Natalia thought that maybe this hadn’t been her best idea.

***

An hour later the entire family was sitting by the kitchen table having dinner. Natalia, Olivia and Rafe were quietly eating and pointedly avoiding making eye contact with each other. Emma sat wide eyed and curious, unable to decide where to look. Her gaze shifted between the other three occupants in the room. Finally she couldn’t take it anymore. Her gaze landed on Natalia. “How did the chair break?”

“Uhm,” Natalia grabbed her glass of water and took a sip, a long sip, she completely finished the glass, and stood up from the table, “one second, I’m just going to…” she pointed at the glass, and walked towards the fridge to refill it.

“Mom?” Emma asked instead.

“Yes, jellybean?”

“How did it break?” Rafe looked up at Olivia with a knowing grin.

“Oh, it fell, backwards.” Olivia explained, hoping that was enough. It wasn’t.

“Why did it fall backwards?”

“Something to do with too much weight and gravity and physics…”

“It was physical, alright.” Rafe quipped, and looked back down at his plate.

Natalia sat back down, and quickly kicked her son under the table.

“Ma!” Rafe laughed, and he kicked her back.

“Rafe! How could you? I’m your mother!” she said with grin, and kicked him back.

“Hey, you kicked me first!” he said, and retaliated by throwing a piece of broccoli at her.

Natalia gasped, “oh no you didn’t!” She threw the broccoli back at him. “Here, you dropped this.”

Rafe filled his spoon with massed potatoes and launched it at his mother. It landed with a splat in her face.

“Rafe!”

Olivia and Emma burst out laughing. “Oh you think this is funny?” Natalia laughed, and filled both hands with rice and launched it at the two of them.

Olivia and Emma looked at each other, both arching an eyebrow and grinning, and then threw their own rice back at Natalia. And then all hell broke loose. Broccoli, chicken, rice and mashed potato was tossed in every direction, even some spoon launched gravy was flung around and then the water fight started and before they knew it the kitchen was a gooey mess. Emma was chasing Rafe around the table, throwing chunks of massed potatoes at him and Olivia and Natalia had somehow ended on the floor after slipping on the wet surface and were wrestling and trying to stuff rice down each others shirt.

Natalia had managed to pin Olivia’s arms above her head and smiled brightly down at her. “You’re a mess”. Pieces of rice were stuck to Olivia’s face and you could see chunks of potatoes and a little gravy in her hair.

“You don’t look so hot yourself.” Olivia said as she wriggled and tried to get loose.

Natalia glanced up to see where Emma and Rafe were and saw them behind her, busy trying to smear brown gravy in each other faces. She looked back down at Olivia.

“Actually,” she whispered, and moved closer, releasing Olivia’s arms, “all your moving beneath me is making me kinda hot.”

“Is that so?”

Natalia nodded, then leaned down and kissed Olivia. She kept the kiss chaste, knowing that they weren’t alone, but it was still just as wonderful as their other kisses, and filled her heart with love. “I love you,” she whispered when she pulled back.

Olivia nodded, and swallowed back the lump in her throat. Natalia had just unabashedly kissed her in front of their kids. Life was good. She smiled back, “I love you too, so much.”

“We love you too!” Emma said giggling above them.

Olivia and Natalia both looked up, “no wait!” and their eyes went wide as a whole bucket of water was tossed over them.

“Emma!” Olivia splurted, “you are in so much trouble!”

The end